Notice how this is almost always the titles of my entries.

So today was kind of a crazy day. Thanks to everyone who asked and comforted me... I know what my God has planned for me. (At least, I sorta do.)

One thing I figured out today: the infamous tattoo! Yes sir, the one I have been talking about getting for over two years. I'm basically a wuss and keep chickening out and coming up with the excuse that I didn't know what to get. (Ok, so that last point was kind of true.) I think I want to get that one on my wrist, even though it's gonna hurt like hell with my bony wrists and all. It'll be a cursive font with the phrase "everything starts where it ends" all as one continuious line. I'm kind of pumped. It's now just my prepping myself for it. Knowing me, this could take another year, but we'll see...

I'm putting off doing my Cather in the Rye essay. It's not due until 1:20 tomorrow afty, so I'm just going to do it at lunch I think. Yea, that sounds good. Especially if Espanol gets out early enough. That'd be sweet.

Eeps. Ok, I'm going back on facebook. Let's hope I don't spend TOO long there. HAH!

-Alysse

I keep doing this, getting myself angry over things. I wonder if I have a reason to get myself worked up over stuff. I'm trying really hard to start turning my head off and my attitude off. I just am so...hurt. Confused. Hopeful that I'm just crazy.

Maybe things will look up. I suppose I have to stop obsessing and start praying.

It's like I enjoy feeding myself pain and heartache. I somehow manage to be very happy for quite some time. Then I just hurt myself. But I can't stop thinking about what my mom said the other day... But I just can't say. "Could you stop that please? It really upsets me." That isn't fair at all.

I shouldn't feel badly about it. But I do. And I will continue to do so. I guess it's just scary. I'm insecure.

I'm lonely. I'm not making it any better on myself. What I need is a hug, and at this moment that won't be possible.

I wish I could stall time.

Sooooo yea. I haven't written in ages, not like anyone really wonders what goes on in my life.

Here's the overview-
I work. Basically this is all I do. I work and eat and sleep. I sleep a lot on days I don't work. In fact, on days I do not work, I sleep like it's my job. Honestly.

I also occassionally hang out with lovely people. But only if they plan in advance because I have zip in the free time dept. due to work. So ya'll need to let me know the next available dates to hang out.

I have most evenings open... so schedule in advance! =P

That's basically it. My life isn't all that interesting. I'd much rather hear about yours.

Love,
Aly

(Something on my mind, something I pulled from my personal journal. I've just been doing some thinking is all...)

My relationship with God is really a personal one. I think some people would be appalled at the way I pray. If anyone listened, they'd be like, "Who are you talking to?" I typically pray as though I'm talking to my best friend. Which is something that I think is a lovely thing and the way that it should be. For me, God is my best friend and my father and my savior. I pray to him mostly like, "Hey God. What's up? I've pretty much had a fantastic day, thank you very much!" etc. etc.

I also am a very firm supporter of gay rights. And to me, I can't understand why a God who loves his children would make his child gay and then condemn them to Hell. That's just something that I don't understand. I know gay people who have amazing relationships with God because they love him and know that he loves them too.

Here's my take on the Bible. God may have inspired people to write the Bible, but the truth of the matter is that man wrote the Bible. It's very possible that bias was a part of writing the Bible. I feel like there are some mistakes. It's like the story of the two people crucified with Jesus, and the conversation between them and Jesus. I love that story and it is overlooked by Mark and Matthew, who tell of Jesus's death in detail. Luke, on the other hand, discusses it. And the robber says, "Jesus, remember me when you come into your kingdom." (Luke 23:43) And this is what is said at the Stations of the Cross. But yet Mark and Matthew leave this story out. I think it's important...and just one example of how the Bible wavers. Plus there's that whole thing about the number of people who wrote for the Bible and the editor who had to pick and choose. That would be fun to research.

Which is something that the DaVinci code brings up. Trust me, I am completely aware that it's fictional. And I'm totally cool with that. But it talks and thinks like I do, and what made me laugh is the amount of people who attacked it. It's like, I can separate fact and fiction. But speculation is part of this whole thing. Wondering plays a role. I guess I don't see what the big deal is about Mary Magdalene? Why couldn't Jesus have had a wife? A child? I don't understand the big deal. Because we are allowed to be in love...God and Jesus understands all of our emotions. I feel like they know love too. And perhaps so on a very personal relationship. I'd like to believe that Jesus knows that love and that perhaps Mary Magdalene was a little bit edited. It's a possibility. I think.
I mean, why shouldn’t a man who is preaching God’s word be able to end his mass and go home to a wife and kids? He would be demonstrating the love of God. I feel like God deserves love—Jesus deserved to have that love. He was part human after all. Would God want his people to never feel love, other than His? I feel like that is being really selfish and I don’t think God would do that to people. “Here, teach my word that says you should love people and feel love and know love and yet you can only love me!” I don’t think He’d do that…

Next bit is simply that I've thought a bit about becoming Catholic. I thought about it when Danielle became Catholic. I've been thinking more about it recently because of Peter and I talking. And also us not talking...his example is a lot too. And here's some of my thoughts on being Catholic.

It's a little structured and I like that because I am intimidated by churches where people raise their hands and cry and stuff. But I don't like feeling like I'm in a cult either, which is something I've felt about Catholic services. You've got to repeat everything. My idea of going to church is someone talking, perhaps saying, "this passage may mean this, and look what we can learn from it." I like listening to people sing, but I don't need to learn the words...I am the sort who would love to sit in the back of church, practically unnoticed, and pray silently. To me, God and I are so close that I need to have that one on one thing, and a group is awesome, but I just need to be with Him like that.

I also am not such a fan of confession. Because of my relationship with God, I don't need a middle man. I talk with God all the time. I let God know I'm feeling horrible for my sins. I repent almost immediately. I've been making a huge effort to keep that in check, just as everyone else does. But like I said before, a middle man isn't necessary for me to confess. My knees are all I need for that. And I know God has told me that that is fine. So I guess I just don't feel like the Catholic church needs to tell me that I need to confess in the way they want me to.

It's like the idea of church too. I don't feel like I need to be in a church to worship my god. I feel God more when I'm in the woods. Like last night. I just feel God emanating from the trees, the ground, the sky, the moon. I can't believe that people don't feel that. It's just...I feel it in my hands. It's such an amazing feeling. And that's where my God and I are joined fully. That is where I worship best.

I guess I would probably love to have a community to be in. A community to raise my kids in when I start a family. I would love to and will raise my children to know my God. And I guess that's something I think about too. I never felt like my mother was someone who was hypocritical about her relationship. My mom was Catholic, but never raised us Catholic. I sort of wish that I'd been baptized, simply because I feel like I'm looked down upon...

Wait a minute. I don't, or I won't anymore, feel looked down upon. I've been baptized in God by giving myself twice to Him. I want to make it official at one point, and that'll be the third time. I just... God and I have talked about this and figured that at one point I will choose a denomination to be baptized under. And that's why I have these circular debates.

I've just been thinking about it all. I think that God has blessed me. I think about all the things that God has given me...the people, and the gifts as well. I can make such a difference in this world. And God has given me gifts: power, drive, passion, love, compassion, healing. I'm thankful for those right now. And I will know one day soon how to go about this. Until then, I'm praying and enjoying the life God's given me. We'll work the details out as we go.


(I'd love to know your thoughts.)

Thank you everyone for all the lovely birthday wishes! It made me smile and that was one of the greatest gifts I could have!

Thanks also to the text messages and singing birthday calls I got! =)

I hope everyone is enjoying the weekend. If anyone wants to hang out in the upcoming week, let me know! I believe I'm open Thursday and Friday of next week?

Love you all!
-Alysse

Why is it that at any given time of the day I can live within a fantasy world in my head? I can make stuff up, create truths from something that never quite happened, convince myself of things, write stories, poems, and other good things in my head? How is it that I can convince myself that my life is a movie and that at that one point, the director is going to have to yell "Cut!" or "That's a wrap!" And the lights would fade on the set, I'd go home, and I'd be normal for god's sake.

But no, I can't be a normal person. I am so positive that I live a movie life that when something gets bad or reality hits, I suddenly am blocked from every fantasy world I've ever had. My mind can't even process reality and I'm frozen, curled in a ball on my bed, hoping that maybe soon things will be clearer.

There are so many times this happens to me. I often wonder where my mind goes. It's quite odd.

I get to hang out with Miss Amber Novinski today, so I'm way excited. I'm going to give her a call soon. At least something can make this gloomy Thursday turn around.

Because my dreams last night didn't help at all. I had odd dreams and of course I remembered details of many of them. It was way odd.

Odd seems to be the word of the day. Eeps.

I'm gonna go read a bit before calling Ambie. Trying to get my life together again. Because I knock it to pieces in too many ways.

Yesterday I started to get sick and it was terrible. My ears were ringing at Oniquia's bonfire and I had to leave before it barely got started. I felt terrible. My head started to hurt, and sleeping was hell. My body just hurt in general. So today I thought I'd be fine and went to Gram's for our Mother's day thing but I just barely ate and wanted to die. So I drove home and fell asleep on the couch for an hour or something.

I've been feeling better since I took some medicine and slept a little. I dunno how work'll be tomrrow. I hope it gets better. I'm supposed to hang out with Peter after work tomorrow too, so I hope that I feel better for that. I hate being sick and out because I occassionally feel like I'm making people miserable.

I love Shrek. It's on tv right now and mom and I are watching it. =) The third one comes out on my birthday. I'm not all that excited about my birthday, but I did ask for some good stuff. Music and Lyrics and a peace sign pendent. So that's cool.

I need to sneeze.

I think I'm going to play on the sims for a bit. Create a few people because that's always fun.

I have loved the rain today. It's been really nice. It was comforting. I had today to sit and chill. I played Paper Mario on the Wii for five hours. I really like it! It's so much fun!

Eh. The person on American Idol is slaughtering "Living on a Prayer." It's hurting my heart.

I didn't get around to writing today...I may make an attempt at it tonight. I also wanted to read but whatever.

Tomorrow I'm pretty booked solid, which is fun. Except like, 6 of those hours I'll be working. Ick. And I bet you any money two of those hours will be in the Nook. Doing nothing. Because like, nobody even comes there. I seriously waste my life. But maybe I'll just try to bring a notebook or something. I'm getting sick of drawing while up there.

OH. I have a cd to be burning! Maybe that's what I'll do right now!!

And Peter? I'm not changing the title. I happen to like it.

Love ya'll-
Aly

I'm chilling here eatting a blue popsicle like I haven't in ages. It's so yummy!!

And guess what all? I've finally done it. I've gained back everything I lost and am working on eatting good, but healthy for me. I've been eatting eggs in the morning and bacon for lunch. And an occasionaly turkey or chicken salad sandwich. I've been trying to eat more chicken and fish. And I finally did it.

It's so cool how I've gotten a rush from *gaining* weight! I stepped on the scale and burst into smiles at the big number! I'm getting there. I'm feeling better about myself. More healthy. More normal.

I've got an exam tomorrow morning I need to start studying for a little. I've lost half my questions though and need to borrow them from Peter tomorrow morning in order to study. I'm going to go work on the page or so I've got here.

Here's to gaining weight and getting good grades! I'll toast to that.

and so the long haul begins. I've started the ball rolling today by emailing Barnes and Noble about the lack of recycling in area stores. I've also found a local place that accepts paper and plastic and pays for it.

I've got the intentions of perhaps talking to Dawn and Jude about recycling in the dorms. Perhaps in the last few weeks of a semester, especially as everyone is leaving the dorms, all the old and unwanted notes and handouts could benefit the school or the HC or something. College campus worldwide use so much paper in notetaking etc. High schools and middle schools too! Hundreds of pounds of paper are probably chucked at the end of each semester/school year.

This is so sad, considering the amount of trees, something like the size of 11-15 soccer fields a day, are destroyed. The amount of pollution that occurs, the loss of oxygen, the global warming as a result--it's so sad!

We need to make an effort people! I am calling out to you. Right now it would help for us all to work individually and recycle as much as we can. This is our earth. We are living on borrowed time and borrowed soil. We should care for the planet that we live on. Think of what an issue global warming really is...let's start working together everyone!

I'm making this my life's work. Yes sir, I am a tree hugger, but if we all contributed just a little bit, this world would be a better, and greener, place.

My thoughts and prayers are for the Virginia Tech shooting victims. I heard earlier and...it's just terrible. I'm...speechless. Again, my thoughts and prayers.

My love-
Alysse

Hello all! Well well well, what's new in my life?

I'm basically the happiest girl alive at this point.

I kind of don't care that my ankle is wrapped and hurts like hell. I kind of don't care that exams are coming up. I don't mind that tomorrow my hair won't be cute and straight unless I take time to work on it tonight. I kind of just don't care. Because I'm way happy.

I've read a good bit of my book, What I Believe, and I'm really happy with that. It's a good book, and it's so nice to be reading for myself for once. Even though I should spend the rest of the evening reading Uncle Tom's Cabin.

My mom just made homemade Belgian style fries. Yum. And a homemade cake. I'm a lucky girl.

Oh, and I went to that drum concert and it was amazing. It hurt my head after awhile, but I was very impressed. And I wanted to learn the dances! It bugged me that the kids were off on their timing, but they looked like they were having fun. So I kind of let it go.

And I've got an amazing boyfriend. Who's uber sweet and cares about me. This is a great feeling, and one I'm still not used to. But I am starting to get used to feeling happy. And that is a great feeling.

And there's a poetry thing I'm going to tomorrow. (Hopefully) It depends on Prof. Beckwith and what she says when I give her a call after work. I need to try to get into her class for the fall.

I think I'm going to unwrap my ankle, take a shower and play with my hair a bit. Who knows? Maybe it'll actually be straight and nice tomorrow!

It is now 9:40 on Thursday morning, and I have been up writing for close to two hours. Add that to last night and I've worked on this paper for maybe 6 or 7 hours. That is the longest I've worked on a paper. Ever. My stupid Sweden project last semester only took like, 4. But anyway, I've got 9 pages, almost 10, and a works cited. I'm pretty much done. I guess I'm nervous sort of because I'm not sure how well I proved the point. But the flow is nice and I think it sounds good and it's pretty decent I'd say. Let's just hope Jude thinks the same.

I have another paper to write tonight. Yay. Good thing this one is only 4-6 pages and I can basically do this with my eyes closed. It's a review of one article and whether or not I support it. Um, basically the easiest thing to assign.

And then this weekend I get to work on LIN homework to fail yet another assignment. At this rate, I'll be lucky to scrape more than a 2.0 in that classs. I had a 1.6 at midterm--let's see how that goes! I as of right now have a 53.96%. I'm failing miserably. =(

The good news is I have a 3.6 in ENG215 and if I pass this next paper with as flying colors as before then I have a 3.7 or 3.8 in ENG358.

Is anyone seeing a pattern here? How do I fail the easy stuff and succeed in a class I technically can't even be in?

This is pretty much lame. But I'm going to go read for 358 because I haven't yet and I feel that's only fair of me.

It's been quite a crazy few days. I've been busy with my papers...it's been really hard. I am taking a break from my reading. It's slow going and tomorrow I'm going to rely on a lot of coffee. I wish I didn't have to work in the evening tomorrow, but I guess I'll be okay. I just need to finish reading a bit. I also have the introduction finished, so I hope things will be quick going from here.

I'm staying with Danielle again this week, so it's been kind of nice. I went home today for a bit and it was hell. I really hate that I feel like that--especially since I should be happy...I'm lucky I have a mom. I just need to get over myself sometimes. I'm such a drama queen.

My eyes are having trouble staying open.

I wrote another poem for my series...the After Class series. It's got six poems now and I just don't know too much about how I want to go about these. I don't know if I want to wait until I know for sure that it's a done series or if I want to be posting them as I go. It's been quite awhile since I started the series. And it's also a lot personal, so I don't know about it. It's kind of a rough decision here.

I've been doing a lot of thinking today. That could be dangerous.

So I'm watching only one of the coolest shows ever as I'm reading here. I'm watching Miami Ink and I'm totally wishing I weren't so tiny and bony. Otherwise I'd be out there getting a tattoo! I want a dragon on my arm, like a bracelet around my upper arm. It'd be so sweet...green for sure. I know, though, that I'd be way nervous and scared. I wish that I could get over that fear...maybe one day soon I can get someone to convince me and someone who'll go in with me. =) My mom used to talk about it... heh!

Oh I guess I'm going to sleep now, and I figure I'll try to catch up on my reading tomorrow while I write. Pray that I get this done, and done well. My talent may be BS, but I don't know how talented I really am...

*yawns* Night loves.

Heh. I love Good Eats. He makes me laugh. =)

I'm doing a lot better since my last entry. I'm eatting lots of chocolate today---so we can all put two and two together. XD

As far as my papers go, I found out some good stuff! The ENG paper now only has to be 4-6 double spaced pages! So that isn't too bad. And I found a ton of sources for my HC paper. I've found what I think I need, and I just need to come up with a thesis. I keep changing it though, so it's a matter of putting to words what I want to say. I'm probably going to spend my saturday putting it together.

Speaking of saturday, there is an African and pan drum concert at 8 on Saturday. Does anyone want to go with me? Leave me a comment or gimme a call. Tickets are $6 for students, $10 for general. If no one wants to go, I'm going to be that silly girl all by herself. *laughs*

I need to get my hair touched up. You can see my roots and it looks really funny since I have blond hair beneath it. I hope a touch up isn't too expensive, as I'm really poor...OH! I get paid tomorrow! Yay!

I get to go back home this weekend. It's been so weird to be away and I'm really surprised at how much I miss everyone. Of course, I'll be spending all day Saturday working on my paper, Saturday night at the concert and---OH! Easter is this sunday! Well then. That should be fun. Except now I'll have to do chores Saturday. Darn it. I'll just have to cut the Easter hang-out short by dragging Iggy into the living room while everyone chats.

Ok, I've got to go to Target with Danielle. I'm cleverly NOT bringing my purse so I can't buy things. =)

I was going to hide this entry away, hoping no one would see. But I guess I'm allowed to be a bit emo or a bit weak every now and again.

I woke up this morning, and although I was completly aware that I was at Danielle's house and stuff, I was so utterly lonely . I just felt like I'd been abandoned or something. It was so odd. I just broke down and started to cry. Not exactly the way I wanted to start my day. I could only pray for strength and I felt terrible that I couldn't even utter a single thanks for another day here. I just felt so desolate.

I went to the Big Apple by Danielle's house and I think the guy overcharged me. I didn't say anything because I was still gloomy and just felt like that was my luck for the day. I also noticed he'd run my card already and I didn't want to be a pest. I've learned now that I have to ask for extra cream cheese if I want to even have a taste of cream cheese since they don't put it on the bagel. Because it isn't called a 'bagel with cream cheese' or anything. And now my stomach is in knots and I keep thinking I'm going to vomit. Yay me.

I couldn't even find a good song to listen to on Sophie. No song was gloomy enough to match my mood and I've yet to make a "This Day Sucks" playlist. I should get on that soon.

Since I didn't quite know how long it would take to get to OU, I left sort of later than usual. I figure I'm closer and it should take less time. Only not so much. I got to OU with 10 minutes to park and had to park at the end of Lot 1. I walked all the way to SFH in 10 minutes, practically breaking my legs. I get to class (yay second floor) and remember that I have a test in ENG215. Yay me. And guess what? I left my book and workbook at home to lighten my bag. And I never printed that chart either. So I took the test without a single page of notes. I torture myself.

I've gotten out of class way early, which is probably the only good thing that's happened thus far. I figure I can run to Kresge and attempt to ask for help for my papers. I have two 10 pages papers due in 10 days and I'm panicked. I've started to cry over that already. And I haven't finished Rushdie for class today and I hope that Gilson devotes time to Carter since we haven't had class for a week. (yay for brochitis)

I also should make a trip home tonight to pick up my copy of Das Kapital, because I'm amazing and left it there when I need it for tomorrow. Ick. I'll pick it up but never be able to read it that fast. It'll be another late night tonight.

I'm just wishing at this point that someone would materilize next to me and hold me while I sob. I hate getting like this, especially if there isn't any particular reason. I've had a fantastic last few days. I had a bad day like this about a week ago and that was following a two week period of happiness. It's really getting on my nerves that I get so down for no reason. Maybe there is a reason--who knows?

I just know that I should walk to Kresge and I only have a hoodie with me. Yay me.

Sometimes I just wish the tears would stop. Can one choke on tears? Perhaps only on a somber day...

It's been awhile since I updated. I'm doing pretty amazing which is probably why I haven't written in so long.

I'm working on papers for two classes and having a hard time. I really hate researching when I have such a hard time with the databases and stuff. I figure Monday I'll go after class to Kresge or something. I just wish I wasn't having such a hard time. I hope Jude doesn't shoot down my idea again either. It does require me to actually look into another Malthus text. Jeez.

I've been really busy. Running to different events for class, going to the choir concert, working, attempting to bring my grades up in all my classes (which doesn't appear to be working) and dealing with the family.

oh my goodness I have to pack for danielle's. I guess I should do laundry then. Eeps. I am way busy but I love it. At least for the next two weeks I can chill a bit since I'll be at Danielle's house! It'll be odd, but cool too!

and I have mix cds to be looking at. And making for that matter. Oh eeps. I need more time in my day. Anyone wanna donate?

The influence of music on culture and society is in fact a great one. This is something I realized recently. You rarely see a college student without an iPod wandering the campus. People are music majors. There are choirs and concerts. Music, and the genre one loves, tends to define people. Or even yet, tends to create a way for one to define oneself.

I see music as a huge part of my life. It wasn't so up front and center for me until recently, maybe this time last year is when I got that big push into music and fell head over heels.

I'd grown up with music, but it was defined by whom I was with. I listened to musicals and Alanis Moriestte with my mom. My dad listened to the Beatles, U2, Coldplay, the like. My sister listened to country, Sarah McLauchlen. I would learn the words and sing quietly to myself, afraid to merge myself with something so huge as music.

I was slowly introduced to new types of music. My now brother-in-law would listen to rap and some of the new stuff, and Danielle would bring home the mild stuff that he liked. I got a bit of Blink 182, some of the 'popular' stuff at the time. Then as I branched off with friends, Morgan and Darcy got me into some of the alternative sound I now call home. Karl made me some cds about a year ago that broadened my view of rock and metal. I found a new home in afi, H.I.M. and Weezer.

Then my dad would drive me to work and he would play classic rock. We started to chat about stuff and suddenly we were like we used to be. He'd hand me cds of Metallica, huge amounts of rock bands I'd probably heard but could never recognize. He started to quiz me and tell me little facts here and there.

I started to explore my heritage and found I was in love with classical music, especially the sound of Irish music. I liked the celtic/gaelic sound, bagpipes have been known to make me cry, and I found ska through a friend. I was merging so much into one sound and I was in love.

At this point I was head over heels and I really cannot live without music now. That'd be like telling me to stop breathing. It's not possible. Sophie, my iPod, is with me at all times. I don't leave the house without her and I pop in my earbuds at every oppurtune moment.

I'm so in love, and yet a year ago in creative writing I was struggling to find names of bands to claim as my favorite. I used to tell people through all of junior high and the beginning of senior high how music just wasn't something I did. I'm no longer that person, and I have my friends and family to thank for it.

Which leads me to my point. I realized how music and our tastes in music are very much defined by the people around us.

First and most obvious is the culture music that we listen to. I fell for ska and the Irish sound. I even get a bit peppy when I hear polka. I think it's almost something that is programmed, that love of the music of our culture. It's a part of who we are almost as much as our eye color or nose shape is. It's inherited.

My musical tastes, and my iPod can prove it, are inheritated. I picked up the musicals from mom, the British punk from my dad, the country and pop from my sister. My little sister loved disney channel and I can't get enough of the disney machine and the songs it churns out.

So many friends have made mix cds for me. I get closer to people through their music. Alex continues to introduce me to an unknown and sort of shadowed side of alternative. Morgan and Darcy throw bits of alternative my way. I'm slowly being introduced to Christian rock. I now buy AP magazine and find myself little punk rock alternative bands.

I mean, we are so influnced by the people around us! Rebels even are influenced as such. They say, "My music is my way of saying 'eff you mom and dad' and that's our sound." Many people take the music and "live in it". I know I do. And we get even more crazy--I pick bands for the lyrical quality and the guitar. I like a bit of piano. I avoid what I think is annoying, or that unlying same old rhythm and bass on bands like Dragonforce. I fall back on people like the Rocket Summer whose success stories make me smile and lyrics make me dance.

I can't really imagine life without music. It's like my icon even says: Music is everything. Even the sounds of nature can be music. I went to a lecture today and the presentors were from Botswana. Oh what a languid and gorgeous quality their voices had! I found myself as mesmirized by the sound of the voice as much as what the voice was saying. I even jotted myself a note at how wonderful the south African languages sound. It was just amazing.

I find music in the pouring rain, the gentle breeze and the sway of the trees. I can't live without nature, because that nature calls to me and speaks to me in so many ways. I walked and danced in the rain today and didn't mind one bit that my clothes and pants were soaked. The sounds alone of nature can make my day change so drastically, as all music can for me.

My iPod can be crazy psyhic sometimes. She'll bring up all songs that relate to my life. I find myself thinking of iPod karma (since I no longer use a radio) and letting my music define my life.

It's like Hot Topic says: "It's everything about the music."

And for me, that music is everything.

I've taken a break from reading, because it makes my head hurt recently. I can't concentrate on books anymore. It's way sad.

Happy St. Pat's day! I'm Irish, and should be moreso. I find it terrible that my icky Polish side rules more. But I guess the Irish and Welsh add together to equal the polish side. Oh well. Erin go bragh!!

My family went to Olive Garden for lunch, which was basically fabulous. We even got dessert. Yum. Maybe tonigh I'll treat myself to an Irish Cream latte, since this girl is too young to taste some Bailey's. Alas.

I should def. be reading. Oh well.

I've been researching this poster book I have, and it's pretty awesome. It's probably from the 60's, and it's kind of rare. Ok, it's basically vintage. And to find a similar one is next to impossible. So instead I have to buy recent ones and that'll cost be $11. Which is ok, it's just that I've been quite poor recently and my credit card bill is slowly increasing. I just like to buy myself little things. Oh well. I guess I still have this one poster to color if I really want to, but I'd rather just order the angels one instead. I'll run the idea by the madge and see what she says.

I'm being teased quite mercilessly, and I'm not such a fan.

Jeez. I've been attempting to find some stuff that I've written. I've got an internship possibly lined up and he wants some of my opinion work. I am stopping by Kim Koz to pick up some back issues of the Star. I'm also printing that bit on the gay marriage thing I wrote. He also wants some humor work of mine if possible. And his words about the dance paper were, "If I like you're work, this thing could be your baby." Bad words to say to me, Hawke, because now I want that paper to be mine. I'm going to bust my ass for it too, don't think I won't!

Oh gosh. I guess I should probably go back to reading. I don't want to, even though the book is pretty good. It can just get annoying after awhile. The main character is so vain and obnoxious. There's a fine line between distancing yourself from love and just feeling superior to everyone.

Alright..I'm going...